


Don't Leave Me (Please Come Back)

by roryonice



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Actor Dan Howell, Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Musicals, Newsies References, Past Relationship(s), Sad Ending, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roryonice/pseuds/roryonice
Summary: Dan and Phil broke up in high school and haven’t seen each other in seven years, but when Dan gets the lead role in a Broadway musical, Phil flies across the country to see Dan and they realise that breaking up may have been a mistake.





	Don't Leave Me (Please Come Back)

Phil weaved through the crowded New York sidewalk toward the entrance to the Broadway theatre. It was a chilly evening, and Phil could see his breath leave his mouth with every exhale.

When Phil was finally standing in front of the theatre, he stopped for a moment and stared at the glowing marquee sign that was mounted above the entrance. NEWSIES! was spelled out in big letters, and the logo of the musical was in lights. Various posters depicting the cast and promoting the production were pasted to the outside walls of the theatre, and Phil smiled to himself when he spotted the face of the person who had caused him to buy a ticket for the opening night of the Broadway musical in the first place.

Phil entered the theatre and handed his ticket to a person who was working at the ticket counter. The person at the ticket counter, a woman who looked to be around the age of 40 with dyed-blonde hair, asked him if he had ever seen Newsies before.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it. My high school boyfriend played in it, so I watched it all three nights that he performed,” Phil answered, smiling to himself. Phil didn’t think that he was the type to enjoy musicals until he started dating his high school boyfriend, who loved to perform in front of anyone who would watch him. Even at twenty-five, Phil still loved to watch musicals and plays, and he would attend every one that he could manage to in his home of Hollywood, California.

The woman chuckled. “What part did your boyfriend play?”

“He was Jack Kelly,” Phil responded. He remembered how excited his boyfriend had been when he had gotten the lead in the school’s musical, and Phil had to supress a smile.

The woman smiled. “That’s fabulous,” she said, “I think your experience tonight will be quite different from the one you had in high school, though. The cast is brilliant, especially the lead male who will be playing Jack.”

“Oh, I know Jack is being played by a brilliant actor. That brilliant actor is actually my high school boyfriend that I was just speaking about, Daniel Howell. He was a great actor then, so I’m sure he’s nothing short of magnificent by now,” Phil told the woman. She gaped at him, and Phil only grinned and walked away to find his seat.

Phil had purchased an orchestra seat in the very front row. The price made Phil want to throw up when he bought the ticket online several months ago, but he purchased it anyways, because he wanted to support Dan and see just how much he has grown as an actor. He had heard that Newsies was coming to Broadway and that there was a new up-and-coming actor cast as the lead, so he had to see whether or not it was Dan, and, sure enough, it was.

Phil found his seat with minimal difficulty and sat down and read the program that he had attained from a person standing at the doors of the theatre. The theatre was beginning to fill up and the chatter of voices was getting louder and louder as the minutes ticked by. He knew what the musical was about as he had seen it multiple times when Dan had acted in it in high school, but he didn’t quite know what to expect. Phil knew that a Broadway production would be much different than the cheap version that his high school had put on, and he was excited to be able to experience a Broadway production.

Phil found himself zoning out and thinking about Dan and his high school days as he waited for the show to start. Phil had started dating Dan at the beginning of their Junior year, and they had dated until the very end of their Senior year. Phil had been really happy with Dan and he wanted to spend his entire life with the other boy, but it was apparent to Phil that Dan hadn’t felt the same way when Dan had cheated on him with a girl who played the clarinet with Dan in the school band.

After Dan and Phil had broken up, they both moved to opposite sides of the country. They grew up in eastern Colorado, and Dan went to New York to go to college and ultimately pursue his dream of being a professional actor on Broadway. Phil moved to California and studied Accounting and Business in college, and he had worked hard to finally begin his own accounting firm in Hollywood.

Phil still thought about Dan often, and he found himself comparing all of his dates to Dan, even though Dan had broken his heart. Phil had eventually stopped dating a couple years into college because it seemed pointless since nobody ever seemed to be as good as Dan had been. Not focusing on dating and love really helped Phil focus in college, so even when he left college he continued to stay single, and it allowed him to use his time to work his way up to be able to start his own firm.

As the lights began to dim, people stopped talking amongst themselves and Phil took himself out of his thoughts to focus on the show. The seats on either side of him were empty, so Phil was able to enjoy the production without having to worry about whether his cologne was too strong or if he was using the armrests when the person to his right or left wanted to use them.

The theatre was dark as the monologue was read off, and suddenly the stage lights came on and the production began. When Phil saw Dan, a grin immediately took over his face. He was so proud of Dan for being able to follow his dream and make it a reality.

Dan thought that he would be a nervous wreck during his first ever Broadway performance, but once the musical began, he was set on autopilot. He knew this musical like the back of his hand, and he had no reason to be nervous. That is, until he was halfway through Carrying the Banner and he saw his high school boyfriend, Phil Lester, sitting in the front row of the Orchestra and just about shit his pants. He couldn’t afford to mess up, though, because his whole career depended on his performance this evening. Dan tried to clear his mind and look away from Phil to focus on his performance. He could deal with his thoughts about Phil later, because right now was one of the most important moments in his life so far.

Dan was able to get through the first act problem-free, but the second the curtain was drawn and intermission began, Dan bolted to his dressing room. He sat down on the loveseat and grabbed his phone off of the coffee table. He opened up his contacts and scrolled down to the L section to find Phil Lester. He had kept Phil’s phone number in his phone in the hope that someday Phil might call him or text him and announce that he wanted Dan back.

Dan’s thumb hovered over Phil’s contact for a few moments before he actually tapped on his name and pressed Send a Message. He really hoped that Phil hadn’t changed his phone number. It had been about seven years since he has last texted or called Phil, and Dan had changed his own phone number, so it would make sense that Phil would have done the same, but he decided that it was worth a try to attempt to get a hold of him. Dan took a deep breath and typed ‘This is Dan. Come to the VIP area after the performance’ and pressed the send button before giving himself a chance to think about it. Dan knew that if he waited even a second before pressing send that he would probably end up not even sending the message.

Phil didn’t need to use the bathroom during the intermission, so he stayed in his seat and played games on his phone. While he was playing Crossy Road, he got a text from an unknown number. Phil was confused as to who would be texting him, so he tapped on the notification which took him to his Messages.

He read the text and felt a mixture of emotions. He was a bit confused for multiple reasons, the first being the fact that Dan knew he was here. Sure, Phil was sitting very close to the stage, but the lights on the stage made it difficult to see faces in the audience. It was surprising to Phil that Dan was able to distinguish his face in the audience. Phil was also surprised that Dan had kept Phil’s phone number for seven years. They hadn’t talked to one another since Dan left for New York, and Dan didn’t seem to want to stay in touch with Phil after they broke up. Despite his confusion and surprise, Phil was also glad that Dan had wanted to meet up with him after the show. Phil hadn’t anticipated on being able to actually talk to Dan during his trip and had only come to New York to watch the show.

Phil really wanted to meet with Dan after the show, but he didn’t have a VIP ticket, so he wouldn’t be allowed in the VIP area. Phil replied to Dan’s text explaining that he didn’t have a VIP ticket, and Dan responded almost immediately and told him that that didn’t matter and to come anyways. Phil shrugged and agreed just as an announcement sounded, saying that intermission would end in five minutes.

Dan was probably getting ready to go back on stage, so Phil went back to playing games on his phone until the lights dimmed and the second act began.

***

Once the show ended, Phil waited in his seat for the crowd to dissipate. He probably wouldn’t be able to see Dan until he was done meeting all the people with VIP tickets anyways, so it wouldn’t hurt to wait in his seat for a few minutes. The show was a million times more impressive than Phil had expected, and Phil had pretty high expectations. Dan had come such a long way as a performer, and Phil was infinitely proud of him. Dan had always been good at singing and acting, but Phil was absolutely blown away by Dan’s talent and ability. Phil had gotten emotional at various points throughout the production simply because of how well Dan was doing, though he probably wouldn’t admit it to anyone.

Dan had to rush back to the VIP area along with the other major cast members after the show was over, and he made his way over to the security guards once he reached the meeting space. “Hey,” he said breathlessly to the bulky men standing at the doorway of the VIP room, having run all the way here from the stage, “One of my friends from high school is here and I asked him to meet me here after I’m finished meeting all the VIP ticketholders, so if you see a tall guy with black hair, really pale skin, and blueish-green eyes, don’t kick him out. His name is Phil Lester.”

The guards nodded and told Dan that they would let Phil in once the last VIP member left. Dan smiled in gratitude and walked over to where the other cast members were standing.

After the majority of the audience members had left the theatre, Phil rose from his seat and began to search for the VIP area. There were signs pointing him in the right direction all throughout the theatre, so it wasn’t hard for him to find where he was supposed to go.

He met some bulky security guards when he reached the meeting space, and they asked him if he had a VIP ticket.

“No, but the lead male, Daniel Howell, asked me to meet him here after the show. I was his boyfriend in high school,” Phil explained. He was intimidated by the guards in front of him, but he tried not to act like it. He didn’t want the guards to think he was lying and kick him out.

“Can I see your I.D., please?” One of the guards said gruffly. Phil pulled his driver’s licence out of his wallet and handed it to the guard, who inspected it carefully and compared the picture to Phil’s actual face. He seemed to think it was satisfactory, because he nodded and told Phil to wait until Dan was ready to see him.

There were chairs within the waiting area for the meeting room, but Phil decided to lean against the wall since he had been sitting for over two hours during the show. Phil honestly had no idea what to expect for when Dan was ready to talk to him. He thought that Dan had moved on from him a long time ago, so the fact that Dan actually wanted to see him was very surprising. Phil’s nerves were beginning to take over his body, so he took out his phone to distract himself. He didn’t want to think too much and end up leaving to return to his hotel. He was curious as to what Dan had to say to him, so he resumed his game of Crossy Road until Dan was finished.

Dan was almost finished meeting audience members when one of his fellow cast members, Sam, asked him why he was so nervous.

Dan looked at Sam and explained that his boyfriend from high school was here and he was meeting with Dan after all of the VIP members were gone. He also explained that he had cheated on Phil in high school and that they hadn’t talked since then but Dan still thought about him every day that they had been apart.

“Shit, man, that’s rough,” Sam said. “Why do you think he’s here?”

Dan shrugged. He really didn’t know why Phil came to the show, because last Dan knew he lived in California and had probably moved on from Dan a long time ago. “I really don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when he comes in here,” Dan told Sam.

Dan’s and Sam’s conversation was interrupted by a security guard asking Dan if he was ready for Phil to come in. Dan looked around to see the room void of VIP members and his stomach dropped. He nodded yes to the guard, but he didn’t feel ready to face Phil yet even though he had had seven years to think of what to say.

Sam patted Dan’s back and wished him luck as he and the other cast members retreated back to their dressing rooms, leaving Dan alone. Dan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t know what to do with himself as he anticipated Phil’s arrival, but it turned out that he didn’t need to think of anything to do with himself as the door opened and Phil appeared in the doorway. The security guards asked Dan if he was okay and if they could leave, and Dan told them that they could. Even though he hadn’t spoken to Phil in years, he was still very sure that Phil was still the kindest person he had ever known and would never hurt him.

Dan watched the door close and finally looked at Phil. Phil grinned and spread his hands. “Hi,” Phil said, unsure of what else to say. Dan couldn’t help but smile in response, never having been able to resist Phil’s smile.

“Hey,” Dan replied, also at a loss for words. Phil started towards Dan and opened his arms. Dan took a few steps forward and closed his eyes as Phil’s arms wrapped around him. He sighed contently, having missed the feeling of Phil’s embrace. Even after seven years, Phil still smelled the same way that he used to: like home. Before Dan had the chance to register the emotions that he was feeling, tears were welling in his eyes and spilling out onto Phil’s shirt.

Phil pulled away with a concerned look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

Dan wiped at his eyes carefully as he tried to dry his eyes without smearing his eyeliner all over his face. “I missed you,” he whispered. “I’ve spent seven fucking years beating myself up for hurting you and letting you go and now you show up at my first Broadway show without warning and I knew that I missed you but I didn’t realise just how much until now.”

Dan abandoned his efforts of drying his tears and simply let them fall as he looked into the kind and soft blue eyes that he hadn’t been able to replace in all the years he has been without them. He wanted Phil to say something, anything, but all he did was stand there with a dumbstruck look on his face.

Phil wasn’t sure how to respond. He wanted to ask Dan who he thought he was for cheating on him yet still acting like Phil was the one who had caused so much pain for the both of them. Phil didn’t have the heart to say that, though, not when Dan was standing in front of him with tears flowing down his face and his shoulders heaving with sobs. Dan’s brown eyes never failed to melt Phil’s heart, and he had already made the mistake of looking into them, so he was a goner. There was no hope for Phil to be angry with Dan now, so he enveloped Dan in another hug.

Dan clung to Phil like a koala joey to its mother. Phil rubbed his back as he thought to himself that he missed this as well. He was very hurt by Dan’s infidelity, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was in love with Dan, and it wouldn’t take very much to fall in love with him once again.

“How about you go change out of your costume and we’ll go back to my hotel room?” Phil suggested. He and Dan had a lot to catch up on, and they would be much more comfortable in Phil’s hotel room rather than standing in the middle of a room in an empty building.

Dan pulled away and nodded. They agreed to meet outside of the theatre, and they departed in opposite directions. Phil walked through the maze-like hallways, the signs for what direction to go to the VIP room having been taken down and leaving Phil unsure of exactly where to go.

Phil was glad to finally be outside in the cool, gentle breeze of New York in autumn. He waited for a while before Dan emerged from the theatre and they called a cab. Dan’s face was fresh and void of makeup, and he was wearing sweatpants with a simple white t-shirt.

The two didn’t talk the whole car ride to the hotel that Phil was staying at, and it gave them time to think to themselves, which Phil didn’t like. He distracted himself by thinking about work and what he had planned for the week ahead of him. He was leaving New York tomorrow because of work, and he had a rather busy week.

They made it to the hotel and up to Phil’s room and were sitting on the bed and talking. They were sat next to each other with their backs against the headboard and catching up on things that had happened over the years they had been apart.

Their conversation had died down and they were sitting in silence for several moments before Dan changed the topic. “I’m sorry for cheating on you,” he said, almost too quiet for Phil to hear. Phil didn’t say anything in response, though. He waited for Dan to continue. “I honestly don’t even remember why I did it. It’s something that I pushed out of my memory a long time ago because I’m so ashamed of it and I don’t remember why I did it. I don’t even remember what we did together exactly. I remember what it was that we did, but I don’t remember any of it actually happening. I do remember how much it hurt you, though, and I’m sorry. I thought that you would never find out about it and that it wouldn’t really matter that much, so that’s why I thought it was okay. I know now that it wasn’t, though, and I never would have thought that I had the power to cause as much pain to anyone as I caused to you and ultimately me as well.”

Phil nodded. “I forgive you,” he announced. Dan couldn’t change the past; he couldn’t undo the actions that he had done. All that he could do was apologise and regret his bad decisions, and Phil knew that. As long as Dan knew what he did was wrong and hurtful, Phil could forgive him.

Dan smiled and the two were engulfed in silence once again. As Phil looked at Dan, he noticed Dan’s eyes quickly glance down and his lips and then back up again at his eyes. Phil debated whether or not to give in and kiss him, and his temptation got the better of him. He leaned in slowly, giving Dan room to pull away in case Phil read him wrong, but Dan eagerly leaned forward to connect his and Phil’s lips.

Phil had forgotten how good it felt to kiss Dan. His lips seemed to fit with Phil’s own so perfectly and electricity seared between the two. Dan’s hands moved up to Phil’s jaw and Phil pulled Dan closer to him. The kiss became heated quickly, each man desperate to feel the other’s touch after waiting so long.

Phil’s hands cautiously dipped underneath the hem of Dan’s shirt, and Dan pulled away from the kiss momentarily to pull his shirt off. Phil’s hands moved up Dan’s bare sides, making Dan shiver. Dan’s hands pulled at Phil’s shirt and the two pulled away once more to allow Phil to be rid of his shirt as well.

Phil pushed Dan back so that he was lying on his back and Phil was on top of him. Dan’s hands moved to Phil’s back, running his hands up and down the soft skin.

Dan bucked his hips up into Phil’s letting the other man know that he wanted to go further. Phil agreed by grinding down into Dan and removing his lips from Dan’s and moving them to the smaller man’s neck. Dan keened, and Phil took that as a sign to continue. His memories of his times with Dan were coming back to him and reminding him of exactly what got Dan going.

“Fuck,” Dan sighed breathlessly and squirmed as Phil bit down on Dan’s sensitive neck. “Fuck me, please.”

Phil didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly removed his own jeans as Dan took off his sweatpants. Phil got up off of the bed and dug through his suitcase in search of the bottle of lube that he kept there just in case. He tossed it onto the bed next to Dan and straddled him as he leaned down and kissed him once again. Dan rutted up into Phil, starting to become desperate. Dan hadn’t ever wanted someone as badly as he wanted Phil right now and he didn’t want to wait any longer than he had to. He had already waited seven years, and that was seven years too many.

Phil pulled away from their kiss and put his hands on the waistband of Dan’s underwear. “May I?” he asked, wanting to be completely sure that what they were doing was 100% okay with Dan. Dan nodded furiously in response, and Phil tugged Dan’s boxers off as well as his own.

He looked over Dan’s body, now completely naked, and registered how much he had changed. Dan used to be rather skinny and lanky, but now he was soft and filled-out and just plain gorgeous. Dan squirmed under Phil’s gaze, snapping him out of his haze.

Phil coated his fingers in lube and began to stretch Dan open slowly, but Dan protested and told him to hurry up, so he complied. He still took his time once he had entered his third finger, though, despite Dan’s protests. Phil was a lot older and his body was more mature than it was when they were teenagers, and Dan didn’t really seem to realise that just yet. Phil was never small, but he had definitely grown as he had gotten older.

Once Phil thought that Dan was adequately prepared, he wiped his fingers off on the sheets and hovered over Dan, asking his consent once more. Dan agreed, suddenly quiet. The moment had become very intimate very quickly.

Phil began to push in slowly, and Dan sighed. Once Phil had bottomed out, he gave Dan time to adjust to the intrusion. It had been a little while since Dan had last had sex, so it took him a little longer to become comfortable. Once he told Phil to move, Phil slowly pulled out and pushed back in again. Dan moaned softly, and Phil repeated his actions.

Phil gradually sped up and Dan became louder and louder as he became more comfortable with Phil once again. It had been a while since they had been together, but it didn’t take long for the two to fall into their old rhythm and habits.

“Ah, Phil!” Dan cried as Phil hit his prostate. Phil hit the same spot again, causing Dan to cry out even louder. Dan clenched around Phil, and Phil kept drilling into the same spot, bringing each man closer and closer to the edge with each thrust. “I’m close,” Dan breathed, and Phil nodded in agreement.

Dan screamed Phil’s name as his orgasm washed over him, making him clench around Phil’s cock and drawing Phil to his own orgasm. Phil continued to fuck Dan through both of their orgasms until they were both spent.

Phil pulled out carefully and lay down next to Dan on the bed. Phil looked at Dan, and Dan gazed back at him with a dreamy look in his eyes. Phil got up and went into the bathroom to use the toilet and came out with a wet washcloth and handed it to Dan so he could clean himself off. Phil put on a pair of pyjama bottoms and returned to the bathroom to wash his face.

When he exited the bathroom, Dan was curled up under the covers waiting for him. Phil crawled into bed next to Dan and flipped the light switch next to the bed off and engulfing the room in darkness. “Goodnight,” he said to Dan.

“Goodnight,” Dan replied, closing his eyes and falling asleep bathed in the warm scent of Phil.

***

The next morning Dan woke up to light streaming through the window of Phil’s hotel room and Phil packing up his suitcase. Dan looked at the clock on the nightstand next to the bed and saw that it was 11:30 in the morning. “Why are you packing?” Dan asked, his voice scratchy and low from sleep.

Phil looked at Dan, surprised by his sudden noise as Phil hadn’t noticed Dan wake up. “My flight leaves at 2, and I have to check out of the hotel by noon. I was going to wake you up soon, but I wanted to let you sleep as long as I could,” Phil answered.

Dan furrowed his brow. “You’re leaving already?” he questioned dumbly. He thought that he had at least another full day with Phil, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

“Yeah, I have to get back to work tomorrow,” Phil said. He folded a shirt and placed it into his suitcase. Dan furrowed his brow even further. Surely Phil could take a day off of work to spend one more day, with Dan, especially if he was his own boss.

“So you’re just going to leave?” Dan said, though it came out as more of a panicked whine.

Phil stopped packing and faced Dan. “Dan, I can’t stay in New York. I’ve made a life for myself in California, and while I want to stay with you, I can’t.”

Dan whipped the bedsheets off of himself and jumped up. “You can’t leave me again! I need you, Phil. In seven years I haven’t been able to replace you, no matter how hard I try. I love you, Phil, and I’m never going to be able to love anyone else like I love you!” Dan shouted, tears threatening to escape from his eyes.

Phil looked conflicted and hurt. He didn’t know what to say to Dan. He wanted to stay with him, he wanted to spend his life with him and start a family with him and grow old with him, but he didn’t want to give up what he had going for him in California, not after he had worked so hard to get it. He wouldn’t make Dan leave New York, either, because Dan had also worked his tail off to get to where he was. “Dan, I want to stay with you, but I’ve worked so hard for what I’ve got in California, and I could never ask you to leave New York. I have to leave,” Phil stated, his voice soft. He didn’t like to see Dan cry, but he had to make the right choice for himself.

“Can’t you move your firm to New York? You’d get loads of business here too!” Dan cried desperately.

Phil stepped forward and gently brushed the back of his thumb against Dan’s cheek to wipe away the tears. “I wish it were that easy, Dan. I really, really do,” Phil sighed quietly.

“Please don’t leave me,” Dan whispered, closing his eyes and leaning his face into Phil’s palm, which was now resting against Dan’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, Dan,” Phil whispered in response. “Someday I’ll come back for good. Unfortunately, though, today is not that day.”

Dan opened his eyes and made eye contact with Phil. His eyes were wide and rimmed with red. “Promise?”

“I promise,” Phil kissed Dan’s forehead. “I love you, Dan.”

“I love you too, Phil,” Dan said. Phil’s hand slid down from Dan’s face to his shoulder and down to his hand. Phil squeezed Dan’s hand once before zipping up his suitcase and walking out of the room, leaving Dan alone once more.


End file.
